Practice of Brahmacharyam : Section-3 - Swami Sivananda

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Thursday, April 28, 2022. 6:00 AM.
Section-3 : Techniques of Sex Sublimation : 
15. To marry or not to marry -4

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4.To be a celibate? Or to be a householder?

It is only for passionate people that the Grihastha Ashram or householder’s life is

prescribed, because they cannot control their lust. If one is born with sufficient spiritual

Samskaras, inborn Viveka and Vairagya, like Sankara or Sadasiva Brahman, he will not enter the

Grihashtha Ashram. He will at once take to Naishthik Brahmacharya and then embrace

Sannyasa. The Srutis also endorse this. Says the Jabala Upanishad: “Renounce the world on the

very day you get Vairagya”.

To some, marriage hinders the spiritual progress; to others, it helps. For Raja Bhartrihari,

it was a hindrance; for saint Tukaram, it was a help. Man reaches the same goal in the long run.

Let the run be the shortest. Let the short cut be preferred to the long walk. That is what man

always wants.

A life of celibacy is a hundred times better than the life of a Grihasthi. I believe in

celibacy, for it is the thing that unfolds the hidden power in man. Brahmacharya is the straight

road to God-realization; marriage is a serpentine route. The former is more preferable than the

latter, but man takes to the latter route on account of his lower passions.

The realization of the Self, however, is not denied even to a Grihasthi just because he has

the burden of a family on his shoulders. Saint Tukaram was married twice and had children; yet,

he reached Vaikuntha in a Vimana or an aerial car. If your outlook on worldly life is simple, true

and honest, if your would-be partner is one who is pious and one who will obey you in all

matters, there is no harm in marrying. But if the married life is more likely to prove burden, a

curse on one, why should one marry and entangle oneself in chains that can never be cut

asunder?

If you want to observe strict celibacy, do not marry. Do not allow yourself to be duped by

saying, “I will observe strict celibacy after marriage.” Afterwards it will offer you its own

arguments for giving up this vow of celibacy. Your Dharma is to realize God.

You had enough of sense and sex gratification in all your previous bodies of various

animals. Animal life is meant for satisfaction of the lower appetites of sex and tongue, but

human life is meant for a higher purpose. Why do you, oh man, burn the sandalwood tree for

serving the purpose of charcoal? This human life is very precious, envied even by the gods. One

life lost means one golden opportunity to become God is lost.

Sensual pleasure is tantalizing. As long as a person does not possess the object of desire,

so long there is enchantment. After obtaining possession of the object, he finds that he is

entangled in it. The bachelor thinks of his marriage day in and day out, but enjoyment does not,

and cannot, bring satisfaction to him. Far from it, it only aggravates and intensifies the desire

and makes the mind more restless through passion and craving. He realizes that he is in

You cannot get bliss in the objects of the world. It is only materialistic poison. Further,

marriage is a lifelong imprisonment. It is the greatest bondage of the earth. The bachelor who

was once free is the yoke and his hands and feet are chained. This is the experience of all married

people, invariably as it were. Therefore, do not marry if you can help it. Escape will be difficult

after marriage. Realize the glory of a life in the spiritual path and the great difficulties, anxieties,

worries and troubles of a married life. Develop intense Vairagya. Assert your birthright of Godconsciousness. 

Art thou not Brahman itself in truth?

A wife is a sharp knife to cut the life of the husband. If the gold necklace and Benares

silk sarees are not supplied, the wife frowns at the husband. The husband cannot get his food at

the proper time. The wife lies down in bed under the false pretext of acute abdominal colic. You

can see this spectacle in your own house and daily experience. Indeed I need not tell you much.

Therefore, be wedded to Santi and have Vairagya, the worthy son, and Viveka, the magnanimous

daughter and eat the delicious divine fruit of Atma-Jnana, which can make you immortal.

A wife is only a luxury. It is not an absolute necessity. Every householder is weeping

after marriage. He says: “My son is ailing from typhoid. My second daughter is to be married. I

have debts to clear. My wife is worrying me to purchase a gold necklace. My eldest son-in-law

died recently”.

Do not marry. Do not marry. Do not marry. Escape will be difficult after marriage.

Marriage is the greatest bondage. Woman is a source of constant vexation and trouble. What did

Buddha, Pattinattu Swami, Bhartrihari and Gopichand do? Did they not live in peace and

comfort without a woman?

Lust is the greatest enemy on earth. It devours a man. A great deal of depression follows

the sexual act. You have to exert a lot in earning money to please your wife and satisfy her wants

and luxuries. You commit various sorts of sins in acquiring money. You mentally share her

pains and sorrows and the pains and miseries of your children as well. You have to worry in a

thousand and one ways in running the family. As two minds cannot agree, there will always be

quarrels in the house. You have to unnecessarily multiply your wants and responsibilities. Your

intellect gets spoiled. On account of heavy loss of the seminal fluid, you will suffer from

diseases, depression, weakness and loss of vitality. Consequently, you will have an early death.

Therefore, become an Akhanda Brahmachari or a lifelong celibate. Free yourself from all

miseries, worries and troubles.

In the presence of light, you cannot have darkness. In the presence of sensual pleasures,

Atmic bliss cannot exist. Worldlings want sensual pleasures and Atmic bliss at the same time, in

one and the same cup. This is an absolute impossibility. They cannot renounce worldly, sensual

pleasures. They cannot have real Vairagya in their heart of hearts. They will talk a lot. Worldly

men imagine that they are happy because they get a few ginger biscuits, some money and woman.

What more is wanted for them, poor creatures? More beggars are brought forth into the world

through lust. All worldly pleasures appear as nectar in the beginning, but become virulent poison

in the end. When one gets entangled in married life, he can hardly break the different ties of

Moha. Therefore, give up clinging to this illusory life. Be fearless. Control the Indriyas and the

mind. You will develop Vairagya. You will be perfectly established in Brahmacharya.

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NEXT : The Akhanda Brahmachari
To be continued ...

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